just a quick lawyer question

[job]

Sophie,
If your h raises the question again about the responses, advise him in a gentle tone to speak to his lawyer. Your h should not be calling your lawyer. In fact, your lawyer will advise him that he cannot speak to him as you are his client.

If I were you, I'd step away from it and not get into any discussions w/him about it. Refer him to his lawyer. Holidays due tend to screw up the courts, etc. Then again, lawyers will drag things out....I know that my xh's did because she knew he was in crisis, bouncing off the walls and yes, she saw $$$.

So, unless you hear from your lawyer....don't call him. Just let things flow along. If you don't want a divorce, let it be and let nature take its course w/o any interference from you.

[Sophie]

So, unless you hear from your lawyer....don't call him. Just let things flow along. If you don't want a divorce, let it be and let nature take its course w/o any interference from you.

Good...99% of the time...I can do just that! It's a relief for me to take that stand.

I wish I didn't let H's failure to think of his kids on New Years...again....get to me.

H did text s14 at midnight 'Happy new year...I love you'.

[Sophie]

Have you told your L you don't want the D? You can have your L take a defensive position, responding only as necessary. This puts the burden of pursuing the D and most of the cost on your H and his L.

Sleeper...this is exactly what my L and I did. I am prepared to counter on grounds H is guilty of...if H continues to ask for the moon.

I'm doing my best to keep the decision to D on my H's shoulders...right where they belong. H tried to blame me for his decision to cheat on me. H tried to blame me for his decision to walk out on us.

Filing for a D is HIS decision....he has yet to face/take responsiblity for any of the damaging decsions he has made. I'm not going to help him out with any of that.

[Sophie]

they were stalling maybe they stall out of fear as H really dont know what they are doing in their fog

So true,Peace...I also think my H through out this D suit as another stab at me to make me go balistic, take the ball and do all the work to give him a D.

H had a little A...thought it would make me so irate that I would kick him out...then he could blame me for his leaving.

H had me meet with a MC we were seeing a little bit...to have her tell me about a seperation and/or divorce. H thought that would make me so irate that I'd kick him out.

I got mad at the MC for not asking a single thing of my H about why he was planning such destructive things to his wife and three small children. She just sat there and asked H what he wanted to do. When he figured out what he wanted to do...she'll help him/us through it! The MC made me irate...I just saw my H as insane and went home.

[LolaL]

Hi Sophie: speaking from a paralegal standpoint, your H's L might not necessarily give him a copy of your respons. He should, but not all attorneys work that way. Usually, the only time a response will be forwarded to the client is if there is a counter claim. But honestly, even then there is so much legal mumbo jumbo that the attorneys do not usually forward every single piece of paper to the client unless the client requests it.

And I think it is time for a new MC. That one sounds like a flake.

[Sophie]

Hi Lola No kidding...I only want to go to that MC to tell her what a disappointment she was to the well being of my family.

She told me I had more insight to people than any client she has ever had....I think maybe, more insight than she has.

Just venting...

The last correspondence was 11-30-08..my L sent a memo saying to H's L 'the last time we spoke you indicated you'd be drafting a settlement agreement. Please forward the same to me at your earliest convenience'.

I did not ask my L to send that memo...I did not want to pay for anything more than necessary. I asked my L to not pursue anything....my L understood, and I have heard nothing since.

My L told me that a copy of my response/or phone call concernig it would be made to my H by his L. So, I figured my H would have received a copy the same day I did...or the next week.



I think my H may be lieing....he has no money to pay a retainer or another hours worth at this time. I don't know if L's take credit cards. His L has a pretty good reputation, I've heard.

My H asked who my L was...I said I wasn't comfortable talking about anything having to do with it.

[peacetoday]

S
Funny
My H IC couselor did the same thing when H asked me to go with him
she encouraged Sepertion and D
she had been D herself twice I think
I still feel she was negligent and gave H permission to self destruct
peace

[Sophie]

Peace...I think this counselor gave my H permission to do whatever he wanted to also...destructive or otherwise...this counselor kept telling me how good looking my H was. She on the other hand was NOT...but, I thought that was out of place.

She was 'there' to help ME get through whatever H decided to do for or against me.

I felt trapped and still get upset with myself for not walking out immediately. Later, my H apologize for doing that to me. We never went back, H never went back and it still took him 5 months to move out. I've spent time with a great IC in the past...I have a masters in educational psychology...she was awful.

It is too expensive now....but, my MIL is so concerned about H's mind/health and she tells me H needs to see a counselor...but, she'll never tell him!!

[bright_new_day]

Sophie,
I usually post on Surviving, but I saw your info and just wanted to let you know I am in your neck of the woods (I live in Stafford County). If you need someone to talk to I am on FB and several board members also have my e-mail.

[job]

Sophie,
Lawyers in my area do take credit cards and also will set up a payment plan w/the understanding the final payment is made once the divorce is final. My xh had a plan that covered everything for one lump sum....not a bright man when it came to this one.

As for the counselor...ditch the person. If the counselor isn't solution based, understanding mlc, identity crisis and/or depression, they aren't going to be worth their weight in gold. It sounds like the counselor was there for you to help you accept what your h wanted. That's not the way it should be working. Ditch the person and find a solution based one.