I haven't been here in a while but when I do I check to see how you are doing. You helped me through my hard times in the past.
I know where you are and feel your afraid to take the step. That he is there right now and just maybe something might change for the better.
It seems so clear to me what he is doing because I lived it the same way. The last time mine left he thought for sure I would "rescue" him and bring him home just to do the same old things over and over again. No change, no work on their part, but always wanting someone else to take care of them.
Mine went through duis, and I helped him get on his feet, get his license, another job if he lost it. But then that was all forgotten and he acted as if I didn't do it for him at all. His words were what have you done for me? He said he took care of me the whole time and I did nothing.
After the 2nd or was it the 3rd time of helping him, I felt used. When he left, yes I was hurt but I had that bigger feeling of being used. It still makes me feel inadequate to trust anyone else for fear they don't mean what they say but are saying it to get what they want.
Sue, I feel for you, that it could happen to you. Even if you were to set him off on his way, if he was in dire straights, you would feel "pity" on him and take him back in. Not necessarily cause you want him but feel bad for him. That is because your a nice and caring person and he feeds off of your true and geniune feelings and uses you because of it.
I wish you the best in no matter what you decide to do. But just be aware of a alcoholics mind and what they do. Take care of Sue and your d first. I feel so much better now that I am apart and see from a different perspective what mine was about cause I am not living with him day in and day out. I have a life of peace and knowing what I want. Yes its hard to do by myself but it was truly harder to do with another one that needed more attention and time then my own child. I do want a partner in life, not another child to take care of. Remember when you were a teenager and went out and your parents had a time limit or curfew? I don't want my partner to be that teenager. As a parent, my time for a teenager would be limited to my child not my partner. Believe me, the influences they have on your child might not be what you agree to as they grow older.
