I cannot help but think this way anymore. This reality keeps jumping up and slapping me in the face. I am thinking that I have held so much faith in who I THOUGHT my H really was. It really doesn't seem true anymore.
A very long time ago my H and I sold almost everything we had and set out to move to SLC Utah. We were on the road with all we had left in our truck. My H says to me, "you know, we are more than H and W, you are my partner in life". That has kept me here for so long. I believed that with everything in me. Truth is he didn't believe it. He doesn't believe it. He lied. Or changed his mind. It is high time I let that go.
"then how can you even think your h will someday come back" that's what I am saying...I don't think I do anymore...and not because I don't think I am not worthy or that it couldn't work. But because I think that my H doesn't have the courage or the faith to ever do the work to make this work out. He has given up all the good in his life for what, for OW, for alcohol, for a life of misery.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
