New poster, random thoughts

[Silent Chrleader]

100% of spouses who commit adultry try to return to the marriage at some point?? Well that's encouraging! I'd like to know where that statistic came from, so I can verify it!!

I'm going to step out on a limb here, and let me preface by saying that I do NOT mean to offend anyone at all. I believe that everyone on these boards are genuine caring people here to support each other and find support as best they can! Having said that, I will say I know that many on these boards have found religeon as a good support during this time (and of course many I'm sure had a real "relationship with God" before their sitch began). I understand this and have respect for this and support these people's choices as the best for them. Because of these beliefs, many talk about the sanctity of marriage in those terms. But, that type of "faith" is just not for me, so I do not put so much "authority" in those types of arguments for myself. It's not so much that I don't believe in God, I just don't define "God" as the organized religeons I have been exposed to do.

Again that's my own personal decision for me, but I really do try to respect others decisions for themselves. Cases in point.....SMW, Tomato, sandi2, hoosiermama.....and numerous other are all obviously warm, loving, giving, wonderful, honorable people who I really respect and they have found comfort and strength in faith and share that with people on these boards. That's a beautiful thing I think, even if I myself don't share their particular beliefs. But, I do want to say that we on these boards should be careful about getting into the un-supportive place of judging others by our own personal "beliefs".

I have seem people on these boards standing for their marriage when their WAS is married to the OP. I genuinely admire these people, for their strength and conviction and doing what they feel is right in spite of opposition. I know many in the world see this as "not letting go". And perhaps it is, but each of us has to make the best decision we can for ourselves. And MWD also said herself in DR that one of the things she did not anticipate and was sorry for in her DB book, was the fact that some people used her advice as a reason for "remaining miserable" and standing for a lost marriage. MWD said herself that she does not advocate this at all.

So, I guess my whole point in this LONG dissertation, is that I think we need to be kind to ourselves and to others on this board. Understand that we are all very different people and that differences are a very beautiful life enriching thing!! And we should all keep in mind that "God" (however one defines him/her) may have different plans for us than we think, so perhaps we should remember that and be open to the opportunities for happiness that come our way. They may be the man upstairs trying to tell us something? Maybe not.....but maybe so.....

I think the trick may be to, again, just be kind to yourself, and take things very, very slow, and enjoy each day as it is revealed to you. Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans!! Live the moment!! Each moment is beautiful and pure and a gift!!

I really do love you all!! Before this, I have NEVER been on a computer "blog". I really lurked for many months, thus my name "Silent" Cheerleader. But you have all really helped me more than I can say, and I am very thankful for having you in my life, even in this small way!!