Religion is a personal thing. For some, I have no doubt, the religious aspect at Retrouvaille is not strong enough for their liking. And for others, any mention of a higher power is too much. So how religious is a Retrouvaille weekend? It is middle of the road. Let me start by saying that I am Jewish, and my husband was raised Catholic, which sort of innoculated him against any religious faith. So as a couple, the religious part was not what we were going to Retrouvaille for. But the program is dedicated to helping people save their own marriages, and it is open to everyone. They make an effort to keep the religious part minimal to not turn off people like us.
On the other hand, like survivors of a hurricane, sitting on a rooftop unable to help ourselves, we were not about to refuse to get onto the boat offering to help us just because there was a cross painted on the side. My philosophy is that if you want the help you will take it from whoever offers it. And so it was with us. We needed help, and I had heard glowing reports of this program, I couldn't wait to go, and I gave it my all.
The program is led by the three couples. They are regular people. They experienced pain and unhappiness and found help at a Retrouvaille weekend years ago; they tell their stories in detail. There is a priest at each weekend. He has short talks interspersed with the couples. What does he talk about? A lot about his life and his personal observations about marriage. He has never been married, but he tries to relate the topic of marriage to his experience, and speak about that. Does he mention God, Jesus, the bible? Sometimes. Yeah, they are mentioned. Are they the focus of the program? No, the subject matter is marriage. The priest is willing to meet privately with anyone who wants to talk to him, and I saw several couples set up times to meet with him. But we didn't choose to.
There was an optional mass on Saturday morning for those who wanted to attend. My H and I slept in. There was a closing mass on Sunday afternoon. It was part of the program, and we should have attended, but we whispered goodbye and sneaked out to the car, as did a few other couples.
The program is relatively inexpensive. There are other marital retreats and weekends that have no religious aspect, but they are much more expensive. The Church supports this program financially, and that makes a difference. That, and the fact that all the lead couples are volunteers, keeps the cost of Retrouvaille low. So I would say it is a toss-up. If you and she cannot take help from a religious agency, then you should go to a different marital weekend. However, if you can overlook a few references to a belief system that you may not subscribe to, then go to Retrouvaille, because they really do save marriages there.
