When do the tears go away ?

[still hopeful]

Ooops, forgot to fit this in. Part 3.

I am fed up. I have been working 1000% on doing what I can to improve for myself and my family. I don't even get any crumbs thrown my way. Sure my W has softened a bit and recently has even signed an email with hugs BUT seriously....there is a family here.
There was not even a discussion about that before she left. Yes, I was not open to discussion as I was always defensive. Look, I get it I messed up. I just want some relief and to be foregiven.

Get over being fed up. You're just getting started. Your attitude is up to you. It's great that you have given 1000% percent. What is all this is needed is one thousand and ONE percent? Henry Ford said that too often people quit without knowing how close they were to their goal. Be the finisher, not the quitter. It takes courage. Pat yourself on the back. Throw yourself crumbs. Surround yourself with positive people who are on your side. Cheer for YOU.

Your wife has softened...file this in the GOOD EXPERIENCES cabinet. Take the e-mail hugs and say nothing. Be OPEN! Read nothing into this unexpected display of NICENESS from her.

No discussion. But signs of trouble were visible would be my guess. And defensiveness did not make the prospect of a discussion palatable or safe to her.

It's great that you get that you messed up. Give yourself relief and forgiveness from the one person you can NEVER run away from...YOU! Do that and your aura will change. Others will sense the change in you and in your attitude. She will, most definitely. But you won't truly forgive yourself until you have completely owned up to and taken responsibility for your contribution to the demise of your M over time.

Good luck, my friend, we are with you.

Tom

p.s. Google 212 degrees. There is a great video online about the difference only ONE degree can make. You may agree that you need that extra degree of effort.