My therapist has encouraged me to date as well...I'm not sure what dating means. But for me it doesn't mean getting involved beyond a friendship. Her pov is that this is an opportunity for my self-growth as well. Problems in the m weren't just problems for my h; I had unhappiness too. I can't force a recon(even though I want one) but I can use this time to learn more about myself in many different ways, including spending friendly time with other men. And some of that learning, along with all of the gal I am doing may mean that I choose divorce before my h does.
We're all choosing self-growth in different ways. I think it's important not to judge each other. I know what my marriage vows mean and what boundaries I therefore continue to accept willingly and live by as a result. I love myself, including my values. The disappointment that I feel in my h for no longer sharing those values is profound. Not all marriages can or should be restored; that doesn't mean that infidelity has to be a part of their ending.
Good for you for not feeling guilty; I don't either!
