New poster, random thoughts

[Silent Chrleader]

Obviously this is a very personal decision, and each sitch is different. Having been with my H since I was basically a kid (17), the idea of "dating" is very foreign to me, and I honestly never felt deprived (although apparently my H did).

My H says he is done and he is committed to "moving toward divorce". However, due to the fact that we have a lot of debt due to just finishing our 'dream home' and the depressed economy right now, we have some very tricky financial issues right now. If we just divorced, since we are in a community property no fault state, it could really hamper us being able to take care of the financing issues we have now and both of our financial pictures and credit could go down the drain. We have always paid our bills on time and have very good credit. So, basically it does behoove us both to work together financially as much as we can comfortably do to get through this as best we can.

I love my H with all my heart, or at least the man that I know is inside him, and will until the day I die. I know I will never feel for anyone the way I feel for him. But there is a man I work with that I do connect with and I think I could have a lot of fun with. My C has encouraged me to not be afraid to spend time with others because he thinks it is very important for my own self growth to see that there is life other than my H out there and that I do have choices!

So, I am not talking about jumping into a relationhsip. I have only ever been with my H (and up until OW, he had only been with me). For me, sex is something in a committed monogamous relationship, and I don't feel at this time that I could feel comfortable doing that while I am still married. Having said that, I will say that I have talked to my H about spending time with this man, and he has encouraged me to do so (the bas**rd), so I am not going to feel guilty for choosing to enjoy myself with someone else. I guess this could be considered dating, since it is with another single person. But at this point it is for fun and companionship and support (he just got out of a relationship too). I am going to try to not feel guilty about it!

And, by the way, thanks for your input on my thread, WIT!

((((((WIT))))))