Nothing much to post, same old same old which is my fault for being a pansy..........afraid to take a stand I guess.
I decided today as I was in a frustrated rage/near tears that I have a new New Year's Resolution:
DO WHAT MAKES BOBBI HAPPY AND FORGET THE REST
That sounds terribly selfish. I know it. But it is soooo time. I came to this realization as I was yelling at nobody in the garage and then yelling to (not at, just venting) my kids in the car. *We planned to go shopping this afternoon, the kids and I.
*I got a wild hair around noon that we should eat lunch and then go to a movie since the kids got movie gift cards for Christmas.
*In the interim, my mom called. Reapeatedly. I had called her to wish a happy new year and she was in bed. At 11 am. She called back I told her we were going shopping. She called back at noon, was I already out b/c she'd meet for lunch. I said no, we decided on a movie first. Anyway she called several more times and wound up kind of inviting herself, and then my dad, to go to the movie with us.
*My MIL called. At 1. She was through shopping heading home and would LOVE to take the kids while I went shopping alone, in peace. Great idea MIL but since we talked at 10 am I decided to go to a movie. She played a mini guilt trip that "too bad, I wanted to see the kids and this is my last day off for quite some time".....great, like that is my fault. Coulda mentioned it at 10 am couldn't ya?
*H called. He is on the road to Texas for 4 days picking up and delivering a cow/calf pair. Had I seen some 18" steel brackets that were in the garage before but he hadn't found them before he left......Why no I haven't seen them but now I have it in my head that I MUST FIND THEM so I can continue to be the 'fixer'....that wasted 30 minutes in the garage during which time my mom called twice to see what I was doing, what was 'the plan', etc.
So about that time my head was going to explode. I could NOT plan my day to fit my mom, my MIL, my H, my kids, AND me...
I realized it would have been so much simpler if I just decided to take the kids by myself and didn't let any phone calls or questions take me off my plan. But I do it all the time. Try to be all things to all people. I can't do it anymore b/c it makes me stressed and miserable and in the end nobody ends up happy anyway.....
OK thanks for letting me vent. I am going to try to live my life doing what I want to do and not trying to please the world and its demands of me. Big goal, huh...
