I understand you Marcum. I have been "enabling" (hard to admit but true) my H for so long...I found out he had a girlfriend last November, over a year ago. He kept her on/off through the end of June....still I slept with him when the opportunity came about, etc.
Since July he has moved in/out so many times I can't count. Leaves all his stuff but takes his shaving kit and disappears after the kids go to bed, then a week or even a few days later decides to sleep at our house again.
Like you, I am so afraid of pushing him away even though he is the one who has left...he has not filed either after a year of this. But he 'almost' got an apartment, then he 'almost' bought a house last month...I fear that my 'pushing' him will turn the almost into a certainty.
Sorry if I am hijacking just wanted you to know I can relate. I sometimes think that having him REALLY move out and file would be better than waiting for the shoe to drop but I chicken out when it is time to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak...
Good for you for putting your foot down. I know that if she stays gone, it won't be because of what she has done even if she blames you. If she stays gone it is what she wants to do but she was waiting for you to call it quits so she could duck the responsibility. If she comes back, then hooray for that.
Sorry for the past year and hopefully 2009 will be much better. Glad you and your loved ones are noticing the good changes in you.
