Still Tryin's 3rd piecing

[S.T. _I Made It!]

not much to share. had a decent time last night, and H finally went out with me with MY friends, it's been like 2 or 3 years since that's happened. It's usually always about his friends, always has been, but my friends don't drink like his do. anyways, we're at the restaurant with everyone and H says, your the volunteered designated driver. That really ticked me off. Sure, maybe I'm not a lush like everyone else, but I still like to drink occassionally. So I ordered a margarita right then. I was wanting to order it anyways, and had decided not too, until he told me that. I'm not sure how I woulda felt if he woulda asked me instead. I know I've had to do it many times for him, and he's done it maybe once or twice for me.

So, we get to his friends' house, 3 couples including us, and they're all like, talking about me being the driver and I said, ya, I just found out. so, for the first hour i was a little bitter, then decided to drink a couple frozen margaritas at the party (hardly any alchohol so no problems driving a couple hours later) and got over it...except my first drink got spilled all over me by my good friend who was already drunk, but she got me another one. I kinda felt like crying when that happened, but I let it go.

So, the night was fun, I finally got to see my H breakdance for the first time out of the 12 years I've known him. That was something that always bothered me, and I always told him I wanted to see him, but he'd always do it (well, the two times I know of) when I wasn't around. for some reason that always hurt my feelings.. like at our wedding, he did it and everyone ooh'd and aah'd except me cause I was in the bathroom.

Sooo, I was excited about that, even got a little bit on tape, but I started to think, oh, maybe he's kinda shy about it with me, like I don't like singing in front of him.

then, we head for somewhere else and I got caught up in drama, so I didn't get to party with the rest of the group. it's a long story, but one of the girls was really upset about being there, so I was trying to console her.

overall, it was a good night, cept we were out till 5am!

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on my band, the drummer decided to back out for sure. which maybe is what God's intention is. I'm still somewhat hesitant to work with the other guy, as he has a very strong personality, but he seems very talented. and maybe this is the direction God is wanting me to go all along. IDK.

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I've also decided I'm starting to feel bitter again. I'm not sure what it is, but I know I need to get that R with Christ again. When I was in the middle of my sitch, of course I was so focused on Christ, it was all I could do to keep going, but now, it's so darn easy for me to just step back and take control of things my way. That is something I need to change this year. I need to just make a schedule for myself, for prayer, for bible time, for helping my kids grow in Christ. That is something I haven't been focused on enough of.

Oh, I do hope God has plans for my H to come to know the lord soon. I really need a Godly leader in my house.