Yes they are. She called D(18) this morning to go for a walk. So off she goes. It isn't like the girls don't want anything to do with her, they just want to when it's convenient for them.
Teenagers.
But she takes it personally, and tried to accuse me of feeding them negative thoughts. Well, we just went through a difficult Christmas with a broken home and I'M creating negative thoughts.
Like Drea said, look at the lessons she's teaching the girls. "If life gets tough, bail on your husband and jump in bed with someone new".
Like Drea said, look at the lessons she's teaching the girls. "If life gets tough, bail on your husband and jump in bed with someone new".
They are not stupid.
It may be that I am too much of an optimist, but I believe your daughters will learn NOT to repeat what their mother has done. The future for your W (or STBXW) sure does not look good and I am sure that the consequences for her poor choices will be obvious to your daughters.
I read that daughters are attracted to men similar to their father. Is D17.9999's boyfriend similar to you?
Her boyfriend and I have similar things about us, but for the most part he's very different. The similarities are in our demeanor / supportive sides. I do agree with you that my D's will not be like their mother.
I don't know if STBXW's future is looking 'good' or 'bad'. I think she is content with the way it is and doesn't really care too much about what happens to me. I know she cares a lot for the girls, but not enough to look at what she's done as being 'bad' for them.
She is sure that her life is 'better' now. I've been stuck in this cycle / slump until the past couple days where I've really been able to internalize that we will get divorced and that I deserve better than what I've gotten. I'm sure she also thinks she deserves better than what I've been able to give her, but she has no idea what I sacrificed of my own self.
Anyway, it's a new year and I'm going to make the best of it.
D17.99 and W had a nice time together as W called to tell me that they talked about how they could improve things between them. That seems positive and I hope it does get better.
As for me, I'm picking myself up still. Looking forward.
Well the first day of the new year is winding down. I hurt a lot, cried and mourned the losses of 2008.
Tonight I'm feeling better. I know that W and I will not reconcile and maybe we shouldn't. Regardless, I deserve a better life than I've been living. And what that life is will depend on what I want it to be.
A year ago I was in a pretty dark place. W dropped the bomb and I was in no shape to do anything but live in fear or anger or both.
8 months of cohabitating and I watched her do some pretty strange things. Then, OM showed up, the bandaid she needed to 'feel happy'.
So much pain. Nobody is worth that much pain. But in some sick way we get addicted to the pain, to living like this because we are afraid to let go.
I have dreams. I have a heart. I made mistakes. I'm human.
I will spend every day in the moments, and expect that God will guide me. I'll pray for redemption for my mistakes and find ways to improve my life. To value MYSELF and have faith.
Happy New Year, my friend, for both of us. You are the one who has given me the strength I needed to get from where I was emotionally to where I am today. My sitch is different today, but not markedly. You directed me to find myself and claim my manhood and my maturity. You directed me to take a critical look at myself fearlessly and see both the good and the bad; to celebrate the good and strive to remedy the less-than good.
To you, my dear Frank, I am forever indebted. You taught me to look at myself and my XW from a new perspective and to understand that I am NOT to blame for ALL of the ills in any given relationship that I actually valued. Through you, I have seen potential successes and potential pitfalls. Through you, I see how a MAN handles his victories and challenges; how a MAN reaches out to aid others to improve; how a MAN encourages other men to learn to be the men they were born to be.
I ache for you. I understand that D is frowned upon by God, unless our S possesses a hardened heart. God may eventually show me exactly that about my XW, but thankfully He hasn't, as of yet, so I march on with my original purpose, but with greater focus and greater knowledge thanks specifically to you.
I pray for the best outcome for all for you and yours. I pray that for whatever income He deems best, if it is not to your wishes or liking, that He touches you with the wisdom and understanding to SEE His will and be at peace; that you all will learn to bend your will to HIS and not do, like I have done to many times, to bend His will to yours.
Should you ever want to e-mail me privately to heal, to vent, or just to talk, you can reach me at
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Much love to you, my friend. You have touched my life and made me a stronger man and a better person. Thank you.
