I think it all depends on how you're holding up, and how long YOU think you can do it. Personally, I think she's manipulative and a world-class cake-eater, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can't sway her by "being the better option" and living that life out in front of her for the next 6-9 months.
I'd suggest you study A in Ohio's and Hope4Us's threads, IN DEPTH. They are both very good at DBing, while laying down and enforcing boundaries, and knowing when to pull back. And their wives seem to respond to that approach.
In your sitch, I see lots of carrots, but no sticks.
