Happy New Year Lola. Sorry you have had a rough time lately. Although we try not to have expectations I know that underneath it all you wanted H there and he wasn't - neither emotionally nor physically = and that sucks and hurts. Yes, he will expect you to be there at his beck and call but he is free to behave how he wants to. You are doing so well in getting your independence and I am sure you will feel better when you have a place of your own. I did set myself a timescale for when I thought I would have to walk away completely or go insane but I was lucky and didn't have to go down that route. I will keep my fingers crossed for you honey that 2009 will being you peace and lots of love. I have to go into Hospital for majory surgery on Thursday so may not be around for a few weeks. Please take care and hang on in there. x