It's Complicated! Part 2

[dl443322]

G, I know how much you love your h, but believe me when I say he has to get help on his own. You can be there to listen, but this depression is not something you could fix.

I know from where I speak, I was very depressed for years. Everyone tried to help me, but it wasnt until I wanted things to change that I found the right doctor and the right medicine.

I did not want anyone to feel sorry for me, or try to fix it. I had to get there on my own.

So, let your h know that you hear him, that you are there for him, and then step back and let him figure this out for himself.

[MidwesternGirl]

HI, Glam--thinking of you. Your h sounds like he is really hitting rock bottom.

Prayers are all you (and us) can do right now.

[happynow]

Hopefully 2009 will be the year our spouses come home in droves.

I sure hope so also!!!!

I'm so sorry your H is depressed but I do know how he feels when he just wants to stay in bed or sleep. That is all I wanted to do for a while until I got on AD's & even after getting on them I still wanted to just stay in bed but my dogs were a big help to me, I had to get up & let them outside & feed them.

2009 has got to be a better year for all of us!!

((((HUGS))))

[glamgirl]

Well h was here, but I could tell he was so very depressed. Dinner was nice, but h was quiet. We stopped off at the store after dinner. H said you go ahead with the kids I will wait in the car. I said why h, he said he didn't feel like walking around the store.

We watched a movie and h slept a little. Then he said happy new year and left. We hadn't watched a movie together in a long time.

It was a low key evening. I did not get a chance to pray over h. It just wasn't the oportune time.

I can tell he is in a bad way. He has depression written all over him. Not really sure how to help him with the depression ohter than being supportive.

I know my h even feels worse when he lets me down, but I don't think he can do much at the moment.

He said see you tomorrow afternoon. We will see if that will happen. It's ok maybe he needs to do much thinking on his own.

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, GG.

I'm really sorry your H is having such a struggle with the depression. As I understand it, medication and cognative therapy together are the best chance of him coming through it. Believe me, I understand his reluctance to take the medication. But there is no nobility in suffering in silence!

It's also true that you can fix it for him. You can be supportive, but don't let him take you down with him. There are lots of books on depression (if he'll read them). He needs to understand that this is not an uncommon thing, and it is a physical thing!! It's NOT his just "in his head". But, remember, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

You are an amazingly strong phenomenal woman!! Hang in there, and remember to take care of YOU!

((((((hugs)))))

[brandnewday]

(((((HUGS)))))

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

[glamgirl]

Thanks SC, BND and NLT. I just called the gym they are open, so we will see how that goes after 2 weeks of being sedentary.

S20 is looking at apartments today. That will be the next thing that I need to deal with. He has been my security at home, but that will soon end. I know it's a good thing, but just hard that's all.

At least he is moving by his choice. I was booted out at the age of 18 with just a bag of clothes in my hand. I vowed that I would not do that to my kids.

H said he would show in the afternoon. We will see. I have lots to do today anyway.

[glamgirl]

Oh it felt great to be back at the gym. Now I just need to keep it up. For breakfast sauted veggies and a boiled egg.

Oh it feels so good to be eating healthy again. No more candies and cookies from holiday. I am tossing them today.

It's the start of a new year. Why not start it on the healthy side. I found out Diabetes runs in my family and they are all on medicine.

Sis checked my blood while she was here and mine so far is normal.

Ok ex h just called and wished me and S20 a Happy New Year. It was a brief convo. It's ok at least he has finally mended his past and he must feel comfortable calling here and talking with me now after all these years.

A new year and a new life!

[plentyhope]

GG, I know what you mean about starting back on a healthy lifestyle again. I slacked off a little with the exercise this week too.

It's nice that your exH and you are able to stay on friendly terms now.

[MidwesternGirl]

Hi, GG-thinking of you.

You sound pretty good today and you are back at the healthy lifestyle.

I walk a lot at work, and fast, too, for four straight hours. It really helps me to get a good workout.