I too thought that it was forever and built my life around him...Now I built my life around me...
You wrote ""I'm sitting here wondering how I could have been so stupid. I planned on him always being here with/for me. I made my life all about him, his family, and our girls"" please do not call yourself stupid...it is not healhty and if in reality then alot of us have been "stupid" but we beleived in it all. I beleived in it all and have gotten passed it. I too, lost my family, my kids were old enough to make their own decsions and they had their own lives.... I was alone except for this board and my best friend who still doesn't quite undestand MLC . It was like a double whammy yet you go on for your self. I know where you are and I have been through the same phases like your going thru now. It will be okay for you you just can't see it or feel it yet but it will come and you will be so surprised with your self... Just keep marching ahead with your head high and shoulders back...it gives you a real great confidence and self esteem boost If you need to chat one on one email me....Lis 7554@aol.com ITSY
Last edited by itsy; 01/01/0901:06 AM.
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Most new years eve's in my life have been spent hanging around the house, doing my best to stay awake so that we could all whoop and holler for about 30 seconds at midnight, drink a glass of that horrid sparkling grape juice, then drag ourselves off to bed.
Nostalgic, perhaps.
High times that my life is empty without? Not really.
These marital messes cause most of us to default to anything from the past being glorious, fulfilling, and something that our life is less without.
A new years eve home alone is not the most horrible thing in the world.
But, as others have pointed out, there is also nothing wrong with doing something totally new and out of the ordinary.
The common theme running through all of this is that YOU now decide what you do, who you do it with, and when you do it.
One day, hopefully soon, you will recognize what an AWESOME opportunity that is. You will stop seeing this new life as nothing but disappointment, wreck, and ruin, and you will begin trying to get something good out of it.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
You know, TOH, this should be a time you attempt to reconnect with old friends whether they be from high school, college, work, church--you name it. The possibilities are endless.
You could go out to an early dinner with family or friends.
Bill has a point. And to be honest, I could never really stay up until midnight after I had kids.
It really is just another night/day.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I know your right, just so damb hard to admit the end
who said anything about the end????? only if you believe it is.....again you are basing your life/worth on another person.
Its YOUR time to start your life. what ever you do you can leave the door ajar.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
i am too lwb....the quiet makes me think something happened.....thats what usually happens...I hope she stayed away
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
My night was miserable. But it was miserable alone and without any drama..o
I did not contact him. I sit here and cried my eyes out. Went to bed at 10 pm. Heard nothing from him.
Yesterday I got up, shook myself off and started anew. I worked in the basement. Cleaned and set up a craft area for myself. Ready to start painting...
H showed up around noon. I was in the basement. Heard someone come in. Came up peaked around the corner and seen it was him. I said nothing, turned around and went back downstairs. He came down. We just talked about what I had done down there. I never asked a thing. He went and hayed cows. Came back sat a bit then took Cheezebalz and went home. End of story. This morning he is stopping before work to bring the dog back.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
the silence is because I'm tired of this [censored], so completely tired. I am wore down, accepting defeat, and have nothing to say...just using this time to sort this out in my head and figure out where I go from here...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
there is NO defeat in taking your life back and controlling your own destiny.
Last edited by a new 2moro; 01/02/0911:45 AM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Many of us have been at it a lot longer and yes, there are times we are tired of it but we keep on going. For many of us, we rely on our faith and that has sustained us, changed us, made us better people as a result. Why? Because we have learned how to be kind, forgive, love unconditionally.
And we also use this time to get involved whether it be catching up with old friends, take on a new hobby, get to know our kids better.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
