My wife and I have been separated for 12 months and will be hitting the one full year mark on 1-15-09. There are numerous posts about my situation on the board. I am very much in a LRT mode right now as I have done a lot of soul searching and this year has aged me. I have also grown up in a lot of ways and my family and friends love the changes I have made. They say I am happier then I have been in a long time.
The problem is I still miss my wife daily and these holidays have been very very rough. I have played a coy friend, who has still payed a lot of bills for 6 months now. All it has earned me is a want for more money and a disregard of even friendship. She has a OM in her life and tells people she doesn’t “feel married” even though we are. This is a very far departure of the woman I have known for 9 years.
I had set a one year mark in my head along time ago. It’s new years eve and all my friends are with GF or W and I am alone. My W is with the OM. I really miss her friendship and incite but I have decided that a “cheese-less tunnel” of being mister enabling is done. We had talked a month ago and I told her I would no longer pay for her parents and her’s cell-phones. I also explained that “If she didn’t want to be my W , then she doesn’t get the benefits of being my W.” I would gladly take care of her, but I will not be a bank or a parent. Heck I’m not even really a friend
Here is the problem…..I am scared to death about doing this. I am afraid she wont give me her new number and I don’t even know were she lives right now. She has threatened D 3 times in the last 12 months. I have been very afraid to rock the boat as I have thought “ great she threatens but doesn’t file” but now, as I said before., I just feel like a enabler. She lives a single OM life yet gets the benefits of a husband. I want to stand up for myself but I am SO afraid she will take like the spoiled child…or as a women who doesn’t care. She could easy stay legally married and just fade away, to the point I would never know when the shoe will drop. I cant live like that either. waiting for a hidden wife to make up her mind months, or years from now why I just sit and stay true to my vows while she breaks them on a daily basis.
