H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

Hi, Glam, and SC, thanks for checking on me! I always appreciate that. My Christmas was pretty good, all things considered. I picked up my brother from the airport on Christmas Eve in the afternoon, then took him home with me while I finished getting ready to travel to our mom's.

Since H left right before Thanksgiving, I wasn't too keen on decorating initially, but I got over it after a couple of weeks, especially after reading something from "Charlyne Cares" about decorating for various reasons, including to make yourself feel better, AND to show your spouse that you are feeling good enough to decorate, despite whatever they are doing to hurt you (detach, detach!). I finally got around to it Christmas Eve after the airport run. I didn't want to do a whole big production and have a lot to put away afterward, so I had just gone out and bought a couple of red velvet bows and such. I put a bow on the mailbox and one on the front door with a big, sparkly snowflake (I'm still finding gold glitter in unexpected places!). Less than an hour later, my brother was napping on the sofa waiting for me, and I was finalizing my packing, and the doorbell rang. It was H. I really wasn't expecting to see him, since I had not seen or spoken to him in 3 weeks. I said a very brief prayer before opening the door, and tried to do a sudden attitude adjustment.

He apologized for not calling first (he told me when he moved out that he wouldn't just barge in on the house when it was my space only), said he rushed out the door without his phone. I wasn't bothered about it, and told him so. He told me he just wanted to check to see if he had any mail, so I gave it to him. He muttered a bit while going through it about "why did this come here?"--I think mainly about the checks for his new checking account, and the paperwork for OW's student loan that he cosigned. He brought me a water-filtration pitcher, said he had been using one and thought I might like one too (I drink a whole lot of purified water), since it would save me from having to haul water jugs back and forth to the grocery store. He didn't have it wrapped up or anything, and it's a far more practical, unromantic gift than he ever used to give me, but it was still bought with my tastes in mind (he has always been an excellent gift-selector). I hadn't gotten anything for him, and I didn't feel at all guilty about that even with him getting something for me--maybe because it wasn't really officially a Christmas present. Anyway, I had a bunch of cookies I had baked that I was planning to give away to people anyway, so I asked him if he would like some, and he said yes, so I guess I did give him something after all.

He didn't stay long--I explained that we were supposed to have left already, so he kept saying, "I don't want to keep you from getting on the road, I know your mom is waiting," and then not leaving! When he stepped out the front door he turned back and looked at me, and then said, "Merry Christmas," and I said it back, and then smiled and closed the door without waiting to see him get in his car, the way I normally would, and just went back to what I was doing.

One of the things he volunteered was that he was going to midnight Mass with his father and brother (he's Catholic, and used to be very active, but hasn't been more than a Christmas-and-Easter attender for at least four or five years). I mentioned the midnight Mass thing to my mother later, and she said, "Aren't people supposed to go to confession beforehand?" (I'm Protestant, and the rest of my family is pretty non-religious). I said, "Well, it's my understanding that the minimum requirement is going to confession once a year, and you aren't supposed to take communion when you're in a state of mortal sin." She said, "I would assume that adultery would be considered mortal sin." I said, "Since it's one of the 10 Commandments, and is pretty unambiguous, I would think so."

Okay, I have a few more tidbits to share, but I need to get off here now as I'm going out with friends for a New Year's Eve dinner--I haven't eaten out in a while, and that's what I wanted to do! I'll be back tomorrow to catch up.

Happy New Year, all...may 2009 be the best year yet for all of us!

Peace,
Dawn