Oh the latest on the chess game front of communices between me and my beautiful darling is this:
she sent me a fairly long text semi - out of the blue.
I will paraphrase ...She starts off immediately mentioning that her plastic surgeon of choice (aparently anyway) takes payment plans and since her dredit is no good that she was trying to ask me if I could help her to get done what she feels is so very important to her to be able to feel good about herself (if it comes to pass .. i sure hope it would accomplish that but have severe doubts about how valid that objective would turn out ..you see she gave up on IC/MC as best I know it .. and that along with Jesus is what will turn the tide for her and me ..not a knife even in a well skilled hand if that is even what he/she is)
She then reassures me that she is certainly a good risk for me to stick me neck out for to help in this way (so silly .. as if I need to be told of her being a good risk) . she sustantiates this by reminding me that she sought and plundered nothing from me in the D. Reminds me that her continuing to live under A-holes roof will (rent free) will further her ability to repay me all of it.
Then she tries to say that she was trying to tell me all this when we were together yesterday BUT that I would not let her. YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH ....so silly ..no accountablity.
>>>>what did the lovely JACK NICHOLSON say in As Good as it Gets (sorry for swinging lumber at all you girls but it is a good line)
something along the lines of ..to get to a woman you start off w/ a guy and subtract all reason and accountablity ...you Go Jack
but you wouldn't listen to how bad my self esteem is and how much this would change my life.
IDK IDK IDK
I have remained consistent (something I consider myself good at)and I have not responded to her stupid blackberry texting crap.
I suppose she did not really want a response as she knows that actual calls (rather than dehumanizing texts between intimate parties) is really the only way I operate with few if any urgent type exceptions. Guess I don't consider this an urgent type exception. Nor aparently does she.
The chess game goes on
BS complete and total BS\\
especially the part about I did not let her ask me for help to use my credit and front her the $$
I asked her point blank if she was looking for financially backing of any sort and her reply was no. Too stubborn proud and confused all wrapped in one neat beautiful darling pkg.
darn hope ..all that turning you into a science experiment happened all this year ??
I finished a year ago in November, just have some meds that I now take to keep the bad stuff at bay (hopefully!) I returned to work full time in Feb. H started A with OW in January. So, to be totally honest I guess it's really been 2 years that sucked. Althought the diagnosis, surgery and treatment for the cancer was a very close and supportive time with my H.
He came apart immediately after. And my Skank X. Friend, a nurse BTW, helped him come apart. Just trying to help him "understand my illness" and other things, don't ya know.
Last edited by 1hope; 12/31/0810:59 PM.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
and not by my wishfully willing it to happen by opening up threads in this forum as had been the case up til now
as per my W (if she really was my W I was talking to just a minute ago)
I have heard conciliatory tones used in the greeting and salutation portions of convos with her before which were then dropped just as quickly as they were picked up ...nano seconds worth I mean
Those conciliatory tones have now given rise to an entire conciliatory convo that I just temporarily postponed til a bit later.
She seems ready to try and work at things and those were her expressed words.
The Lord is turning her heart.
I stand back and receive His gift as only He can do.
I have nothing more for now .. i am being drawn speechless
I will maintain my steady self. It is afterall what has gotten me to this point and will take me to unknown but surely promising places with the Lord as the guide.
I will reiterate this is His achievement and not mine.
