firsts are very hard. i seperated right before the holidays last year, but i consider this truly the first holiday we are seperated because last year we were seperated, but we still shared a residence. This year I am in my own place with my son and for the first time it truly feels like we are two different people only coming together to raise our son. My H honestly feels like a stranger. We no longer know eachother at this point in our lives. I need this feeling though in order to keep moving through this difficult process.
Anyway, just know it does get better. Right now it may feel like it won't, but it does. I had many of those I can't breathe moments. For the sake of my son I had to push past it. You will never know how strong you are until you go through this and you will. What kept me going is reflecting on all the moments in my life that I never thought I would get through and then realizing I got through them. This too shall pass. When it starts to hurt, just take it for what it is and know that you will come out on the other side. I still think about my H and the friendship we had and I hurt for my son knowing that he is from a broken home, but I do believe that GOD would not bring me to this without bringing me through this. Surely there is something better in store for you and for me.
