WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice III

[LonelyD]

AmyC and 25year. I have read the Refiner's Fire and 25year I read the forgiveness story. Both hit home very hard. There is a lot of me in the Refiner's Fire, I believe and the forgiveness story, is very close.

I feel sad and upset I won't be with her. I am closing my mind to what she may or may not be doing. I will be with friends who love me and care about me. I will call everyone (not her) and wish them a happy new years. I will get thru today without a meltdown, I will start my new year, without a meltdown. i am looking forward to my walk. Yesterday i was afraid to walk, it hounded me and hurt me. But there will be clarity from doing it. Things in my life will be better, if I stick to the plan. Amy, "my way" is the Way I have been shown and told. So it is His way, but it is what I posted and what we discussed. She is gone for good, for now, until this passes and my mind gets clarity. Then forgiveness will come into play. My expectations are that I will receive nothing from her while she is away. My expectations are from me. I will visit people I haven't seen in a while. I will finish things around the ouse that need to be done. I will get a better job (this is huge for me). verything else is gravy.

Yeah , I hurt right now and I am very sad. I am slo upset, emotional and all other things. But I am in CONTROL of it. I think that is a big difference. I am getting my "house" in order so that i also will "receive" a guset, hopefully soon. Yes I have hope. I have a lot of hope. Whats most important is I believe in what I believe, nothinng else will matter, not opinions, not insight. I need to stop asking for opinions, I don't need them. My beliefs are what I need and He wants me to hold onto those.

[Strongerthanthis]

Lonely D,

I think your doing very well, there is one piece of advice I cannot get out of my head and it's so simple but so right it's what AmyC said

"I would say, live as if she's gone for good. But love as if she is due back any day."

I'm 2years down the road in this and it's not easy, New Years eve for me is hard as we met 22 years ago on New Years eve and then 2 years ago on New Years eve my wife had a miscarriage. Two weeks later I got the bomb.

I really have had to hand it over to God, I believe we will be back together someday but I have to live for me and my children.

I'm not one for big posts but sometimes things just scream out at me and AmyC's quote of a few words speak volumes.

Take care
Charlie

[Strongerthanthis]

And another thing!

as I don't post much please forgive me while I hijack your thread!

This time last year I went to Eygpt diving, was in an open air nightclub in a vip lounge having a ball. I went because I wanted to escape. I won't lie I had a good time but at midnight UK time, I looked to the sky said a small prayer for our lost child, my children and wife.

This year, I've just lost my business, on the verge of losing my house and will end up in a room not able to have my children stay
with me for a while after having them for 3 nights a week.

Two weeks before christmas I found out my wife has had a boyfriend for the last year (we had already decided the children would spend Christmas with me and she'd come over)

Bottom line is, does all this cr@p sink you, or do you get up and fight again.

An old chinese proverb get knocked down 7 times, get up 8.

I'm not being a marty and there is no glory in a hard life. I was the most un godly person, churches were for marriage, deaths and baptism's such a hypocrit but now how can you go throught this mess without your family. friends and most importantly God?

Take care
Charlie

[dday101798]

Hey LD, just stopping by adn seeing how you were holding up, little too much faith talk for my pref, sorry.

You're doing well, and I agree, the hardest part is keeping the emotions in check. But do exactly what you say, think she is gone, and it' won't husrt SO bad, but it still will, it always will. From my experience it's first the pain of losing your spouse, but then as that fades, it's the pain of the children losing their mother and the family being torn apart.

Definately carry forth in keeping busy, the busier you stay the less you think about it and the easier it gets to handle.

Have a safe and Happy New year. Get this, my W asked if we could spend it together! mind you we haven't been on very good terms lately (started a new thread on this).

Keep hanging brother!

dday