out of clever titles

[hoosiermama]

What am I not doing, or doing wrong? What is it about me that contributes to so much isolation? Because this is where I always seem to end up.

Why do you think it's something you're doing wrong? Maybe it's the people you are hanging out with have problems and not you? I went to a church a few years ago and didn't have that many close friends there. It was lots of college students and moms with young babies, and they just had really busy lives and in different stages of life than me I think. The church I've been going to this year has more middle-aged people like me and are just more open and friendly really.

I get a lot of enjoyment for the stuff I do volunteer for, so even if others are wanting stuff from me, I feel like I'm getting a lot from it also. My favorites are volunteering at an after-school program b/c the kids really do appreciate you. They hug you and say ILY and stuff like that. I loved volunteering for the homeless/poor at Thanksgiving also. Really makes you grateful for stuff you have. I plan to do that every T-giving now; a great new tradition and have the kids join me the years I have them (every other year I guess). Karen

But see, I thought I did have a lot of friends. Not just people who needed me. More than in recent memory, in fact. People with whom I had a lot in common, similar places in life, etc. Maybe it's just too awkward right now, altho I swear I'd just love to go have coffee with someone and just talk about our kids or the weather or anything else besides my life. But folks are too busy, don't return calls, and at this point I've quit calling because it bothers me too much to be turned down.

Yes, I get a lot out of "giving back," also. And I will continue to do that, because it's just the right thing to do. But I'm not talking about therapeutic relationships here, or doing good for others to put things in perspective--I know all about that. Right now I just need to feel part of something, feel connections to people, feel some continuity in my life because it feels like I just landed in some foreign country and don't know anyone and have no past here. And that's a very uncomfortable and stressful feeling.