Thanks guys. We all agree she needs to go - that is clear. H4U, I will use the L advice side for today's convo, which won't happen with the k's if they do not want to be there.
It shouldn't happen with the kids even if they DO want to be there. This is for the parents to handle, and it's horribly traumatizing to the kids to put them in the middle of these kinds of discussions when both parents are in their RIGHT minds, much less the way your wife is acting right now!
