Hey everyone.. not much time to post, will catch up with you all tommorow..but thanks. Strangely, I feel deflated by the BIG NEWS. Its the biggest yet. In October I found out from BMF here (who I am out with tonight and his gf Cher), that my ex talked about me all the time and that he loved me to bits and had a connection with me he didnt want to lose. In March, his BMF W J told me (it was J who told me this latest) that he had said he wasnt sure he had made the right decision.. but to now hear after a year apart that he is confused and doesnt know what to do and he cant believe how well we get on (DURR!!)...
You know how its made me feel? Like I am not 'good' enough. Like he has been circling noticing how I am, yet spent a year thinking...what?.."Nahhhh...no thanks". That may be daft, but I feel kind of inadequate, like I dont measure up, or I still need to prove something to him, and why? WHY DOESNT HE JUST TALK TO ME !?? I am sick of the rejection, of not feeling worthy, of him holding himself well away from me, yet talking to all of our friends. Its not fair! And still NC from him.. thats a SECOND NYEve.
Still, if he turned up tommorow with apologies, I wouldnt turn him away!
In other news.. his skiing holiday, was in his words, A DISASTER! Ha!!!! Ooops. More later. Kelaroon.. nice to see you back! And Happy New Year to everyone else posting. Love Al x
