Interesting day today, sort of broke my Jan 15 rule, but W DID start it.
I texted W asking her to drop off kids a tad early. She texted me wanting to know what was going on tonight with kids - I told her I am taking kids to a New Year's Eve skate thing that started at a certain time, so wanted to have the kids a bit earlier.
She said she was leaving at 6, and a friend was going to bring them over, so I confirmed.
I then texted her, seeing what she was gonna be doing (thinking she had a NYE party at work) - made a comment about how I got huge blisters the last time went roller skating. I figured she had asked me 20 questions, so it was OK to ask back. Of course, right after I sent it, I was like ah, crap, dummy - she's with OM! (Yes, AinO, from now on, I won't ask regardless, just show I don't care)
Anyway, she texted back, "None of your business."
ME: "Sorry, wasn't being nosy, just chattin"
W: "No you weren't just chatting"
Me: "Yeah, I was just thinking, I hope you have 9 martinis - you should have some fun before going back to school next week."
W: "I am not drinking"
Me: "Well, at least get in some dancing! I honestly hope you have a blast!"
W: "Thank you"
Then about 3 minutes later, she sent me a cute video of S6 singing "I am the Eggman"...
A great example of her starting out all up in bristles, and then easing off because she sees genuineness from me. Best thing is that I know she'll be with OM - and I didn't ask, didn't even imply anything, and I said I hoped she had a blast - stuff that she probably likes to hear, but doesn't want to believe. Also, I'm very responsible, very kid-oriented - would pick being with my kids over anything else. W is not so much, so for me to wish her to get out and cut loose, and not ask about OM - big 180 for me. And the best thing is, I really mean it for her. Of course, I wish she would do it with her family, but you know, every one needs to get out.
Then, I texted her again thinking that I had $100 to burn off our HSA card - use it or lose it before the end of the year, and asked if she needed band-aids, vitamins, or anything. She said vitamins, etc.
I got to the store, bought the stuff, and then realized I had spent $96 at dentist, so had a whopping $4.00. I texted this to W to let her know, and she sent back "LOL".
Just nice, light conversation - her responding nicely. Sending me a cute video of the kids, responding with LOL, saying thank you.
I read someone else's post - and they said they thought that by being W's friend, they were showing them they were OK with the divorce, and W would move on with the divorce thinking they were all right with it. I feel the exact same way right now.
But here is the reality - I can do the opposite, act like I always have, and completely obliterate all chances of ever recovering relationship - OR - I can be nice, sneak up on her, get her to laugh, get her to see me in reality instead of what she's got in her head, start letting those good memories of us start surfacing in her head, and before you know it, tada!!! I let her know that I think divorce is wrong, and affairs are especially wrong, so she knows how I feel.
Ok, day 1 of extremely dim - business contact only.
