If your wife is not in IC, she may not be healthy enough to do stage 1 yet and still holding in some resentment of wanting to be validated for her feelings of 'what it was' to her. I see that she thinks things are getting better.. does that mean 'safe' to her?
I hear you wanting to just move forward, while she may need to still look back... WHY she needs to look back may be for a different reason than mine...it's not that I'm not willing to look forward, I just want to understand & be understood as best we can to prevent it from happening again.
Just my thoughts from my perspective with my H and needing safety first before working through those negative emotions especially the hard ones.
Hugs to you & happy new year! Bridge
She told me she was going to go. She told me that I had moved forward while she stood still and she told me that she needs to make herself happy and that I can not do it. But I have no idea if she went and knowing her as I do she did not.
I have validated her feeling, told her I was sorry for all that I had done. Have proven to her many times in how I reacted to certain situations that I am not the same person I was. Things that use to upset me or send me over the edge have not. I take it all in stride and move on. Its who I am now, its who I want to be, its who I should of always of been.
I understand your reason for looking back and making sure. I never got P with her it was all emotional with me. I have changed that, I control that and most important I know what use to set me off and I avoid those things at all cost. Knowledge is power and I have that over myself because I know who I am now and what I was then.
I am so happy that things are improving for you and I hope it works out for the best. What ever that may be.
