AmyC and 25year. I have read the Refiner's Fire and 25year I read the forgiveness story. Both hit home very hard. There is a lot of me in the Refiner's Fire, I believe and the forgiveness story, is very close.
I feel sad and upset I won't be with her. I am closing my mind to what she may or may not be doing. I will be with friends who love me and care about me. I will call everyone (not her) and wish them a happy new years. I will get thru today without a meltdown, I will start my new year, without a meltdown. i am looking forward to my walk. Yesterday i was afraid to walk, it hounded me and hurt me. But there will be clarity from doing it. Things in my life will be better, if I stick to the plan. Amy, "my way" is the Way I have been shown and told. So it is His way, but it is what I posted and what we discussed. She is gone for good, for now, until this passes and my mind gets clarity. Then forgiveness will come into play. My expectations are that I will receive nothing from her while she is away. My expectations are from me. I will visit people I haven't seen in a while. I will finish things around the ouse that need to be done. I will get a better job (this is huge for me). verything else is gravy.
Yeah , I hurt right now and I am very sad. I am slo upset, emotional and all other things. But I am in CONTROL of it. I think that is a big difference. I am getting my "house" in order so that i also will "receive" a guset, hopefully soon. Yes I have hope. I have a lot of hope. Whats most important is I believe in what I believe, nothinng else will matter, not opinions, not insight. I need to stop asking for opinions, I don't need them. My beliefs are what I need and He wants me to hold onto those.
