S, first of all, I hope by now you know how much I appreciate your perspective on my sitch. I want you to always tell it like you see it. I might not always seem like it, but I could take it - good or bad. So never hold back, that is why I am on this BB.
So, I have always felt like you thought it was better for my h to be in the house.
"How much more unpleasant for his dad to be 2 hours away? I am no professional, but it is my understanding that for kids, the only damaging part is when there is active hostility and anger in the house between the parents. If the parents are polite to each other but warm to the kids, it's still ok, better than no parent at all. Two parents who live together peacefully and respectfully, though not with passionate love, are good for kids."
So, forgive me, but I am a little confused by your new post. I am weary of the situation - abso-freakin-lutely (sorry, I 'm from Brooklyn). Am I disgusted with myself for thinking so little of me that I would ask him for a hug? Yep. Am I strong enough to do what I have to? Not sure.
I have to file, and I dont want to. Not just because I took a vow, but because of all it entails. Because it starts the ball rolling of hurting my son even more, on having to sell the house, on dividing up our lives, of having to leave my job. It all overwhelms me, it scares me.
So, I think, in some ways, when I ask for a hug, I know subconsciencely that I am getting nearer to moving forward, if that makes sense. But, I am stuck. I wish he would do what is right. I wish he would move out and file so that I dont have to. I wish that he would do the right thing. But therein lies the problem, I keep thinking that he is that kind of man and he is not.
So, once again, you give me food for thought, as you always do in a caring, kind way. And while we do not really know the people on this board, I think you see me, as I see you. You are a good person, a kind soul, with wonderful perspectives given with honesty. And for that, I thank you.
