I agree with Cat Your number one enemy is negativity. I've been in singleland for 3+ years and beyond the normal mourning for a lost relationship I felt the negative thoughts were the number one problem to the point I did not pursue things with the gusto needed to be successful.
If you look back on your marriage do so on a lessons learned exercise not to beat yourself up. That is a point in the DB books.
The book "Rapid Relief from Emotional Distress" discusses the practice of cognitive redirect. It's out of print but probabaly available on the internet and like any self help book it tends to promise more than it delivers but the concepts are sound and a highly recommended read.
Cognitive Redirect is basicly the process of defining a moment as This stinks to I like how this stinks to I wish this would stink more
I realize mourning period is normal and necessary for emotional healing like the healing of a broken bone but longer and more difficult but 99.9% of lifes disappointments are lesser that what brought you to this board many can be turned around.
I do not post much on this board anymore due to time constraints and other interests so Best Wishes
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
