I wouldn't have let the argument continue - if W had responded poorly, and not had the good chat, I would've said, "No need to argue, just sharing my feelings."
Here is the text of an email I sent concerning how I responded to her call the other day - when she was crying, and I got in the stab about it being her choices. I mean every word of this:
---------------------------------------------- I was wrong yesterday. When you first texted me about getting the kids early, I guess I got a little defensive... Ok, maybe really defensive!
And then by the time you called me, I just thought that you were trying to control me or bulldoze me over.
However, you called, and poured out your heart to me - I felt real pain from you, and I took advantage of that to try to get in a couple of moral cheap shots, and I am ashamed.
I am not like that, and I won't be like that.
You said a couple of days ago that you felt I didn't respect you, and in that phone call I DIDN'T treat you with the respect that you deserve.
