Runningoutoftime - I agree that having a child is something that will bind us together forever. However when a person hasn't loved another person in the right way for a very long time, how do those feelings come back? In my case, while we'd had a tumultous relationship these past few years due to outiside circumstances that neither of us could control, overall my husband and I had one of the best relationships I have ever known. We complemented eachother pretty darn good. Got along well, didn't argue much, for the most part were happy together, etc. But we did drift apart and did not keep the flame alive. I know we have to start doing things as husband/wife together again, but so much time has passed and it feels so awkward now for both of us. We have slept in the same bed a few times now, and it is stiff/awkward. He does not really want to cuddle (something we always did before). To me, while we are "working on things," every day that goes by drives us a little farther apart.
And while having a child together is a very strong reason to reconcile, neither of us will allow that to be the only reason. I would rather be divorced than be together simply for my son's sake. I am getting close to being at the point where I would rather be divorced than married to a guy who wants me but wants to be single too. I've found that being with him is emotionally draining because there is almost no husband/wife contact interaction and it hurts me so much. Sure, we're great friends, but we always were. We did become emotionally distant due to the problems at hand, but for the most part, we always got along. So there's really no need to spend time together to become friends again in my opinion. We're already there.
So, if the feelings have been gone a long time, how often do they come back? And how often do they come back before the LBS has moved on? And how the F do you get them back? Million dollar question.
