>> By the time a WAS actually walks away, the marriage has been dead from their point of view for a long long time, and will be very difficult to piece back together. <<

>>If separated for any period of time (anything over a couple months), it is very difficult to piece things back together simply because the separation itself works to distance the husband and wife even further. <<

Not necessarily true. I know of people who get divorced and years later remarry or "piece" a relationship back together.

Sometimes you have to lose something to realize how valuable it is.

Having a history and child together is much more valuable then many people realize. But you can't tell your H this or try to convince him of it. He'll have to figure it out himself.

The chances that any OP can have more value then that are very slim. Once the newness and novelty of the situation wears off, chances are he'll realize this. In the meantime you need to create a great life for yourself... with or without him.

In other words, leave the door open a crack, but don't stand there trying to convince him to step inside. Just make it such a wonderful place that if he happens to peek in he'll be intrigued, realize it looks pretty good and he'll want to step in and stay. And if he doesn't you will have a great life anyway, few (or no!) regrets, and he will definitely lose something very valuable.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.