Hi Dudess, I don't know if I'll ever be in the position again to have an actual "conversation" with my H - but I'm going to have to keep your response in mind...I've never quite put her words back on her like that - so I really like that part about "what you said sounded like you were telling me my motivations..." Happens all the time...
I'm finding a funny thing happening to me right now...as I've passed through the mourning phase of being with my family without her...I'm finding myself feeling even more hopeful about the future than before. Not in terms of us - since I think that bird may have already flown - but more in terms of my kids and my work. I'm already envisioning myself as a professor again...and I really like it...especially since it will still give me time to do the other work that I've liked from the past few years - namely the TV and film script writing - and the fiction writing (though that's not been work, per se...since I've not made a penny from it).
This may sound strange, but I also can't help but think that if/when my marriage ends, I'll be in a situation in which it would be much easier for me to find new friends - and eventually meet someone new. There's a part of me that just looks forward to brining my new-found tools into a relationship - ideally, it would be with my W...but I really don't see that happening...her journey could take her a long time...and so far I don't see any signs that she wants to address what brought her to where we are...and, honestly, sometimes I just want to get out of this before there is another OM...since I have a feeling that's just a matter of time.
