Well, I talked with W's friend tonight who is also a fellow church go-er.
Her name is 'Drea' and she has prayed for us for months.
Her husband was a 'real deep' alcoholic for years. She has said to me that it was when she made the choice to support him no matter what that he was able to heal, and they now have the greatest marriage she could ever dream of.
She still says that I wasn't even close to her situation. I was in PTSD and needed a supportive wife.
Anyway, she is a good christian, and she has been praying for our marriage to heal. However, she's been listening to W and said the following:
- W told her she 'met a man she likes' but won't say anything more because, as Drea says, she is ashamed of her choices.
- Drea said that God gave us one out of marriage, which is infidelity. She went on to say that as much as she is friends with W, and she loves her, she feels that God has released me from her.
- In that sense, she kept telling me "I know you love her, however, she is teaching your Girls a bad lesson. She's 'down the street' F*king some guy who is a weaker person than her, and showing your girls that if they don't like their marriage / relationship they can just bail and it's 'ok to F**k' someone new. I have a responsibility to teach them that, THEIR LBH should be a man who doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior.
- Drea, who as I said is W's good friend, or at least the ONLY friend who will tell her the truth, said to me "Frank, you are a catch. Yes, you have problems but who doesn't. Lorri is immature in her expectations of marriage, life in general. You deserve better."
To me, she is my 'local' AmyC. She's a good and decent person, and she would prefer that our Marriage be restored. I was deeply moved to hear her tell me that W could only be saved by God, and that I was probably destined to find (or be found) by someone who could love me properly.
She still thinks that W will be saved. It will just be a few years and then she will be humbled before God.
Loving someone who will take years to grow sucks. Especially when you have no idea of Gods time.
