It was a HORRIBLE night, but again, I'm pretty proud of myself - previously it would've degenerated, and I would've have gotten mad back - I would have probably "scored stinger points" but would not have gotten the reaction I did. By the way, that is how W apologizes. When she screws something up, she comes back in a very in-control way, and basically gives you what you asked for, and then asks if you're OK with it.
AinO, I was flipping out about W because I was worried about losing time with my kids - not where she was. That is a personal victory for me - used to freak out all the time.
My next task - I need to focus on not caring where she is all the time. Right now, I haven't had much trouble with jealousy, but when it is a family time like this, and she refused to be together with the kids, it bothers me, especially since she is probably going to go out with OM. OM has 3 kids, but is content to be a McDonalds dad, just has them a couple days every couple of weeks. Makes me sad for them.
But, I take a deep breath, and I realize kids and I are going to have a blast, and bring in the New Year together, and she is going to miss out. They will remember that they invited her, and she said no.
That is my challenge for ME, and it is getting easier, with my secondary challenge being to completely disconnect now. Luckily, W is pretty pissy, so I won't have to worry about keeping contact short!
I do remember that the last time I cut off contact, she not only came over and came in, she was friendly, fun, laughing. Sigh, it's like in golf: they tell you the easier you swing, the farther the ball will go.
