What is the proper etiquette for birthdays, etc. do I have to buy her presents every birthday for the kids to give her, does she come over to have cake with the kids, do the kids go over to her apartment.
Well I know different people do it differently, depending on what kind of WAS you have I think. My WAS is night and day from say LWB's or H4H's WAS. You have a pretty good R I think with your W, but I can't imagine you will want to be eating cake with her on her birthday? I bought H a cake from "the kids" but he took the kids & cake over to his place. I do think you have to help the kids get gifts for her when they are young. I assume at 18 or older I'll stop doing that and they will either get gifts for us or not. But I do think it's good teaching for them to know to get a gift. I also have them both make homemade birthday cards every year which they've always done for H.
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You are not being mean or a softie, you are just being you, which is just right
Thanks for that! I was hoping I was getting this right. There is so much weird divorce etiquette that we kind of have to figure out I guess.
Well, I'm going to give another week or 2 to job-hunting in my area which is really bad with mass firings/layoffs and hiring freezes (I know it's probably a little bit like that everywhere), but after that I'm going to start job-hunting all over. Well, not over, but Seattle, Kansas. I'm hoping for an ok-paying part-time job so I can still hs, and cheap but safe housing. D9 also told me today she would like to move to NY b/c she had heard they have the world's biggest toy store there (I think FAO Schwarz maybe)? But I checked online and the apartments are like $2000 and up it looked like so maybe not!!! They did look gorgeous though!!! Karen
They did look gorgeous though!!! Karen 
