Separated and adjusting #2

[whitneypinch]

Hello Carlos,
I just read your whole situation and have tears.
You situation is so similar to mine and I guess everyone else's.
I too am getting close to where you are as well. My W seems to be getting angrier and angrier at me. I don't know why. Maybe she sees the wonderful father I have become. I was not so great when we were together as I just did not feel it yet. Maybe my in-laws have mentioned how great of a father I have become, who knows.
My W has had a few tiny moments where she was kind to me and them goes right back to showing anger and distance.

I have found I am damned if I do and damned if I don't as well. I am also getting to the point to just focus on me and the kids and to stop trying to do right by her.

I am extremely close to my kids. In fact I believe I am closer than she is and she is starting to see and feel that. I did not do that intentionally, it just was a by product of the wonderful times and experiences I share with them.

My W has been going 100 mph keeping herself busy and "having fun".

There is nothing you and I can do in our situation other than what we are doing. We just continue to be the best person we can, love our children and seek purpose in life.
I know how heart wrenching it is to finally become an incredible person and not be able to truly share who we are with our spouse.

I don't get it either. I love my W and want to be with her, my 2 kids want us to be together, yet she seems happier to go out and start to date someone else.

So....we keep plugging along.

Carlos please stay on and keep posting. Your words and journey have helped me immensely today.