Just reading through some of your threads I notice you use the word "sucks" quite often. You got to stop with that attitude if you are going to live happily in the present and the future.
I am not a Buddhist, but the 4 noble truths may have meaning...
The first is that life is frustrating and painful with suffering. The second is that suffering has a cause. The third is that the cause of suffering can be ended. And the fourth is the path to ending the suffering.
I think you are stuck on wanting what you cant have and it is causing you to go in an endless cycle of wanting--not getting--being sad--wanting again.
Put the past behind you. You have learned from it but dont let it drag you down and hold back your potential.
