I didn't mention this before but it seems you were really disappointed that the Christmas gift you gave her went without comment or reaction. It sounds like you put a lot of thought in it. Been there and it can really slap you around.
I didn't expect her to jump up and down whooping and hollering but a wow, that is the best gift you ever gave me and a hug and kiss would have been nice. We were talking the Friday after Christmas about how she though our D was disappointed in her gifts. I told her its hard to tell she is like you and does not show much emotions. She said couldn't you tell I really liked my gift. I did not get a chance to answer because our S walked in before I could.
Originally Posted By: whiskey.tango
Maybe it is time to pull back a bit. You are really working hard at this with little reward. I hope I say this in a way it makes sense. You've made a lot of changes. Which ones work for you? Make you happy, better than you were? Don't think about the R/M, think about you and the kids only. Keep those things. For a while, don't work so hard on trying to make her happy, trying to appeal to her. Give yourself a break and see if things go unnoticed. I'm concerned if you do a 180, she'll be able to justify to herself that your changes didn't stick. Does that make sense?
I have pulled away, I can feel myself doing it. I like all my changes. I don't know which ones she like or dislikes and don't really care. I like them and feel I am where I want to be and its who I am. I know there are things I still need to work on for me but again they have nothing to do with her.
The things I do for her are more to help her out and meet her needs, atleast the way I think she wants them to be met. Again without feed back I can't be sure it is exactly what she wants/needs. She always complained about me not helping around the house, having to ask me to do simple things, never putting any effort of thought into her gifts and several other things that I have change to make myself a better husband.
All I am asking for is the same consideration from her. Atleast I have told her what I want/ need. Atleast I am not making her play 20 questions to find out and atleast I am willing to go to C to improve our C skills. I'm a womens dream if you ask me. Not only do I do more than my share of the domestic stuff I'm willing to go to C and improve our C and anything else that would help improve our M/R.
