Just reading over your last posts now, from your description of her actions, it seems like your wife is reeling. Just back from time with her family, and as you said, who knows how that went, she comes looking around a place that must, on some level, provide her with a sense of belonging. Then scared of that feeling, because it is a loss of control, she finds comfort in her familiar false friend, anger.
I think you are so wise to let her anger be hers. She is going through her own process and you wisely recognize that it has nothing to do with you or your boys. It is all hers.
You are doing a great job of being calm and consistent. I know when I have been in my most turbulent states there is nothing like a consistent calm presence.
I have to learn from you how to do a better job of focusing on myself.
