Just journaling here. Reflecting on--being valued for who I am rather than just what I do. Or not! So I've tried to do a lot for people in order to feel accepted, to be a part of something outside myself. Sometimes it worked.
"The spirit we have, not the work we do, is what makes us important to those around us." Can't remember where I read that. Apparently I don't have a very "attractive" spirit, because no one seems even remotely interested unless I'm doing something for them. Gratitude is apparently not a good basis for relationships.
What am I not doing, or doing wrong? What is it about me that contributes to so much isolation? Because this is where I always seem to end up. If this sounds like an ongoing pity party, I'm sorry--I am the common factor in all of this, I'm trying to figure out how I contribute to my own isolation. Just journaling.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
