"...maybe I don't belong here on this site anymore..." - i've been going through this, i've removed myself, and not out of any particular reason. Stay.
for me, its has been tough reading everyone's threads, seeing the pain. and the hope. and knowing that i have a lot of pain to still go through - this is just the beginning. but no hope, not for me. not for my marriage. not for a united family. and while i'm fighting the dark, its not been easy - constant pain, the voices are back and relentless. most days i'm losing. i wish to have this all be a bad dream. i just want it over. but thats not for me, theres no quick cure, this is a mourning and we just have to hack through it.
while you're working through your pain, and your future, you're helping lots of people. you have the gift of putting into words what many of us are thinking but cannot articulate.
"I wonder sometimes why it is that the people who have such a lot of compassion and human wisdom get thrown such tricky balls to field. Maybe because they can actually catch them? Who knows."
what comes first? I would wager that its the hardships that have taught us to be compassionate and wise. if we've never gone through those tough times first, we wouldnt have the patience, and understanding that we have now.
someday your son will be a man with incredible compassion and wisdom, understanding beyond his years. he will look back and remember your strength, how you both worked through this time together. he's learning lessons that will make him a better man, better father, better husband.
your son will ask the questions when he's ready for the answers.
take care of yourself. be well.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
