Hi T, Purr! I am having a great week, yes! Hey MrsM..sorry, I was thinking though that I have always done whatever I wanted.. I gave up a career in Governmetn when we were first together to finish a Computing degree and followed my dream to be a web developer.. I then gave that up 2 years ago to go to Art College and live by the sea, 2 big dreams of mine...and I guess I will continue to do what I want to do in 2009.. BUT.. I'm not done with him and especially after what I heard last night!!

I had a great time with J, we talked all night! She told me her H (my ex's BMF) has been emailing a woman, its an EA I think. I am worried for her. She told me AMAZING news about my ex, I was stunned...

So my ex went to Tenerife with 5 other guys, od friends, 3 or so weeks ago, including her H and also her BFF H, and my ex apparently talked alot on holiday to that H.. about.. ME!! H told BFF, who told J, who told me, so its 3rd hand, but very trusted source! (we are a gang of friends of 10+ years). So he has been with Helen 4 months (?), drove me home the night before he went to Tenerife and we had that horrible layby incident...and yet he was talking about me!

My ex had one long conversation with this guy and the gist was..

- He cant believe how much better I am (dont know if that meant in myself, or healthwise??)
- He cant believe how different I am (WOW! He has noticed!)
- He cant believe how well we get on still
- He doesnt know what to do about me and he is confused
- This guy said that he seemed "in a mess" about it all

So..WOW! Its official! He is confused !! I wasnt so much doing 180's, more that I have actually changed, I have returend to the girl he fell in love with (more open, more sociable, happier).. and I dont get ill anymore. I think his Dads desth and his depression and MLC meant he couldnt cope with my constant illnesses and lack of fun?? This is what Jody said to me. He felt like my caretaker. I have only been ill twice this year, whereas he, ironically, has been constantly ill !

So the question is..what do I do now? How do I fight for him, make him feel more confident that the changes have stuck and to want to risk trying again, to reassure him I can take it and how do I wrestle him away from Helen?! Still NC from him and I havent contacted him to thank him for the present.. perhaps I should??? But...amazing news hey !!? I wasnt expecting that !