Pam! I was just finishing my rounds on Piecing and heading over to you...Tell me, how did you know I was posting?
I'd heard such comments before, but being a computer idiot, never could figure out how others were doing it!!
Well today was a bunch of running around. Returning clothes....only to buy more. ...Never made it to the bakery or grocery store..Kidney is barking some today.
Kind of had two not so great DB moments when I got home. CJ was on his laptop, as usual. I think if I were to add it up (haven't!) he's on there about 10-12 hours a day. Some days less, some more.
So what did I say? "Hi there, how's my workaholic?"...to which he responded that he was just finishing something up and would then get us some dinner.
I guess it just got to me a tad that last week he sent me an e-mail promising to "cut back significantly his hours on-line so as to take care of more stuff around here"...no sign of that yet. Unless you count us doing the finaces together yesterday....but the way I look at that one is that I took time out to help him finish up a chore that he'd promised to take care of a number of times.
Sooo a little resentment crept out there, I guess.
Then I asked who'd called while I was out: His sister (who he picked up for) and my best old pal J...who got the machine.
Now understandably, perhaps, when things were shaky with us, CJ got into the habit of not picking up any calls for me. But it SEEMS to me and some pals, that he still rarely answers their calls when I'm not home.
So talkiing with J, she asked where CJ was and I said in the other room. She commented on him not picking up and I joked that he was getting like my Dad, who refuses to answer the phone as it's "never" for him.
Well CJ heard this and took exception...seems he was in the middle of something when she called. He didn't like me making him sound like an avoider when in reality, I often screen calls too.
I didn't exactly validate his feelings there...guess I'll try to work that in later.
I am glad to hear you (haven't) added up the hours!
Hmm..being as I just dissected an IM session I had and found when I feel hurt I get sarcastic still. I would wonder if CJ possibly took this comment that way.
I hope you both had a good evening and smoothed things back out.
How soon will his online course be finished? He sounds like when he gets into something that is where all of his focus goes until it is finished. Which I know from experience on this end, makes for good work but can be very annoying!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
If only some of that focus could be directed at home improvements...sorry, watched "while you were out" last night.
Yes, Pam, no doubt that comment came off as either sarcastic or a jab at his long hours on the computer...but yes we did salvage the night, low key though it was (CJ had a headache too).
I apologized about getting on him for not picking up the phone call, as he's quite right that I screen as well.
Well we went to our first wedding ceremony since last year today, a lovely ceremoney. Two young people, a third on the way.
Was a bit touched by the "faithful unto you" part of the vows...wonder how that sat with CJ?
My 18 year old nephew played his guitar and sang at the reception.... ...but then the poor kid had a beer, wine, and a rum....all on an empty stomach.
Uncle CJ helped him through the worst of it...felt bad for his girlfriend though, this was their last night together before he leaves for Hawaii on Tuesday.
If you figure out HOW to direct some of that focus towards home improvements I would love to know about it. David doesn't seem to have much focus in that area either. Hence Pam's major house projects with David gone!!
I discovered when my feelings are hurt or I am upset I still do sarcastic jabs. But you know that IS the way my mom tends to communicate to my dad so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that when under duress that is the pattern I fall back on. NOW to continue changing IT!!
I'm glad the wedding ceremony was nice. Sorry about your nephew. Forgot about him doing the baby sit thing in Hawaii. How in the world did he find out and arrange something like that? Doesn't that sound neat??????? Through a college program maybe? Hmm..I could go to Hawaii for the winter and David could come back and take care of our house and the dogs. Give him lots of space.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Actually it was even more serrendipidous than that. His mom and dad were vacationing last winter in Mexico and met a nice woman who owns 40 acres of prime orchard beach from property in Hawaii...her dillemma...to fine someone to watch the place while she's a way for a few months this fall. Sis couldn't go, but managed to "sell" her on my Nephew and his best friend.
They really ARE very responsible trustworthy kids...oh, man was he apologetic when he called here this morning. Lesson learned..it was the first time for him.
So they're staying in the main house from sept to Nov and then using a massive tree house on the property as a base from which to explore the islands....I'm happy for him, but i'm gonna miss him too! He's one of those special ones.
AS for me, woke up late again (same old same old...gonna have to rely on "shock therapy" in the form of my alarm clock a week from tommorow! ), headed over to CJ's sis's for a BBQ. Had fun talking to his niece (13) and her cousin (also 13). I'm SUCH a big juvenile at heart that I was siding with them on issues, much to their mothers' annoyance at times, no doubt.
Of course I HAD to defend their desires to sleep in late!! Come on it's their holidays and teens DO need more sleep than younger kids or adults.
Ended up with quite a womping headache on the drive home...maybe the 7 cups of black coffee weren't such a great idea???
Oh, yeah, did I meniton we picked up travel brochures for a trip to Mexico during my spring break in February???
Happly Labour Day all! (Is it labour day tomorrow everywhere???)
Well, I bet he has a great time and what a wonderful opportunity!
Poor guy, how did he feel?
Hmm....maybe you will have to try going to bed earlier? I don't really like alarm clocks, sometimes necessary but hate getting jerked awake like that in the mornings. I like my internal one much better, it wakes me up with so much less of a shock to the system.
Not sure I have ever tried 7 cups of coffee. No WONDER you were up all night and morning as well.
Planning a trip together sounds great.
I have a question for you, any idea what it was that finally helped CJ make the decision to stay in and work on your marriage? Can't explain it, maybe last nights dream and the increased distance he is putting between us and time with OW. But I feel that David is getting closer to finalizing his decision that he wants out.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I really don't KNOW what changed CJ's mind...I don't know if it was an "aha" moment, a gradual change or what. That is bothersome, I must say.
He says he'd decided to stay waaaay back after OW was first "exposed"....but he treated me like crap, never said a comforting word, and continued to see her for 3 more months!!!
And as for David...hon, your guesses at this point are nothing but mind-reading...totally understandable when said mind's contents are not being shared with you! ...but not always the most accurate!
Going to tackle the rest of the hedge and shrubs today...I hope we don't get lost!
Oh well just thought it might be interesting to know how he reached that decision.
I know I'm guessing and mind reading and ASSuming. I HOPE not accurate!
He was nice the evening he stopped at the office, was ok last time at the house so that is the thoughts I have been calming myself some with today.
I certainly hope you don't get lost! I always wanted a hedge, I'm jealous!!! After you get the outside of your house all done I think you should come down here and work on mine. It has been nothing but neglected this year. Looking sort of bad. But the inside is starting to look pretty darn good! At least the middle level, and the lower level not bad. I'm not commenting on that upper level yet! Not there yet. It is LAST!
Actually I wanted a hedge as a maize. Don't suppose yours is is it?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Shiny- How are ya? You sound even better- It makes me hope that I and many others will get to where you both are. Maybe they dont know we want to hear it? I need to hear it - I am staying - better or for worse - like I thought we agreed on 17 years ago. But maybe this time is much sweeter? If I ever hear it too. You make me want to work in the garden- too bad it is raining cats and dogs here! Thanks for the support Shiny and have a great night! Shay
...Never made it to the bakery or grocery store..Kidney is barking some today. 
...but not always the most accurate!