I packed up all of my W's clothing/shoes/purses from the bedroom and put them down in the basement. She is completely out of my bedroom now, save some clothes in a armoire that I don't use except to hold my TV. She came over yesterday for a several hours to spend time with the kids and made no mention of the bedroom nor her stuff. I had warned her that I was doing it.
She stayed in the kids' rooms the whole time she was at the house. Initally she was going to take the kids out for play and fun at a local restuarant/fun center. My boy wanted me to go and the W invited me along; but I told them that I would meet them there later and bring the kids home. So they left, I fell asleep on the couch watching football. the W called me and informed me that she didn't have any money; so they came home while I was at the store.
Interaction was friendly, sparse, and matter-of-fact. she said that she would return on New year's day to help take down the tree.
I don't know if packing her crap put her butt in motion; but the W has been texting me today. One to ask the phone number of people on our street for lease references and another to tell me that she wants to come to the house tonight to discuss what furniture she can have.
She has signed a lease, supposedly with her dysfunctional BFF. I intend on demanding to see the place before the kids stay for any overnights.
today is supposed to be the day that she moves out..she came over last night after work and began packing the rest of her stuff. She plans on bringing a trailer later today to get it all and move into her new apartment.
Kinda sad and exciting at the same time. It's kinda sad because of the feeling of finality; but exciting because I've been waiting for it for some time. It's at least progress and a lot less limbo-land.
We were cordial and friendly; but I offered no help packing. I did agree to help load the trailer; but I'm not offering any help on the other end. It's on her.
Things are changing...but at least the kids and I are living together. that's my blessing from God.
{{{Tom}}} Weird isn't it that, even tho you were expecting it and don't really like it when she is there, it still feels "odd" when it is actually happening!
I hope you are good today my friend and that this is the wake up call your wife needs to see YOU for who YOU really are!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
The U-Haul was packed (mostly by me) and she's on her way to her new apartment.
We had a couple of minor spats. She had gathered up a couple of rolls of toilet paper to take with her. I asked her what she was doing with that; she said that she was going to take some unless I was running low. I reminded her that if she wants to live on her own; these are the kind of things that one has to buy for themselves. Her response was "if you want to get nasty about this, we can get nasty." I was like "over toilet paper??!!" batchitt
But in the end she thanked me 5 times for helping. And she also mentioned that I'm not nearly the a$$hole her BFF's H is. I was like "I guess, thanks?"
Anyway she agreed that from now on she will not come to or in the house without me there. I thanked her for that; in addition, I've got the only house keys and her garage door opener.
One step closer....
p.s. on a weird note..I watched her pack up all the cards and letters that I've sent her over the years..I say weird because the last card I gave her....well, it's still in my SUV.
{{{Tom}}} Weird day eh?? Crazy what we can get "crazy" about isn't it?? Toilet paper LOL!! Reminds me of "When Harry Met Sally", dunno if you've seen the "chick flick" LOL, but he says "make sure you put your names in your books because, even if you hate the books, you will be fighting over who gets them someday!"
I hope you are doing well my friend!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I wouldn't have picked the fight over the toilet paper. You were being nice and helping, you had an opportunity just to be a nice guy all around, and that little comment soils it. Instead of a shining moment, it'll have a little ding on it now. I do the exact same thing, though!
Good for you for setting boundaries, and calmly agreeing to them.
Funny about memorabilia. W moved out back in June - a few weeks ago, I was cleaning and found a bunch of cards I had sent her, including a postcard I had sent her like the first week we were dating.
I called her and told her I had found them, and I was going to throw away unless she wanted them, and she told me to keep them for her to get.
Weird, separated for 2 years, moved out for 6 months, I have no desire to be with you, never want to be around you again, our marriage is crap - but you want keep memories of our relationship?
But in the end she thanked me 5 times for helping. And she also mentioned that I'm not nearly the a$$hole her BFF's H is. I was like "I guess, thanks?"
((((Tom)))) What a great compliment (not)...considering the level to which you've NOT been an a$$hole is Herculean in my view.
What about the kids? Were they there for all this...what did they have to say?
The kids were at her mom's..though our S watched her pack up last night and he knows what's going on.
It will be pretty obvious when we all get home tonight; that stuff is gone. Just the hard reality that I've been trying to keep the kids from experiencing over the last 3 years. But to no avail...I know it's not MY fault. My conscience is clear, the kids know who's leaving. They know that I'm NOT!!
