MT, those are big steps. He is finally thinking about things, and wondering if it will be possible to put your M back together. You are so right about the patience. It is so important, but so very hard.
It's funny, but once you aren't so worried about "saving" the marriage anymore, all of your feelings will finally kick into gear. Mostly I have found, the anger. Your H can sense that, and like most betrayers they are worried about if you will ever get past it. By the time they have decided to return, they are beyond it, but they wonder if they will be reliving it in every future fight.
Many times I have felt that I was over the pain and anger, only to have it sneak back up on me at some unsuspecting moment. Movies, music, last night I cried because I thought about my wedding dress hanging in my closet. H didn't see that. Sometimes, besides biting holes thru my tongue, the hardest part of this is finding times and places to cry so that he won't know.
It's a work in process. Something only you will know if you can do. Some days are easier than others. We are having a bit of a rought time right now because we found out that our friend that owns the little Pub that we all hang out in, shot himself Christmas Day. Several things were troubling him, but I guess the final straw was that his wife was leaving him for another man. This couple has been friends of ours for years, and it struck too close to home for H. It has probably made him think about the OW's H (his former friend) and this suicide threat when their EA was discovered. Later we found it was a PA. No one has died in our situation, but I'm sure H is probably thinking about what could have happened.
Oh well. That is all in the past, and I am sooooo ready for 2008 to be over!!
Do you guys have any plans for New Years Eve? I am thinking about you sunshine and you are warmly in my prayers.
We are supposed to get another 3-5 inches of snow this afternoon. Goody, just in time to cause problems for Holiday travel. Come on Summer!!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
