You say that DD4 is happier when H is around, well she won't be happy if Mommy is crying and upset all the time.
I agree. I hate that my girls have seen my cry a handful of times over xH. They shouldn't have to see that, nor try to take care of me.
Nor should your D4.
I emailed you, but will add some hard stuff (don't hate me)....I feel that your H and OW had a 'plan' to cool down for awhile, but they never ended it. I feel that OW got cold feet about putting a plan in action, but your H has always been waiting. I feel he used you when he had nowhere to go (after the DUI, and license thing). I feel that he would have left you and D4 if he had the money/freedom to do so.
Here's something though my friend: Your husband loves you. Your husband loves your daughter. I don't think this has ever changed. But we have learned from this board that love isn't enough sometimes. Your husband lacks strength and integrity.
Take your time, and make your decisions for you. We are here for you, and would never relish in the 'I told you so's'...
