((((((Suzy))))))), I was afraid something was wrong since you had been so quiet. My heart is breaking for you. You say that DD4 is happier when H is around, well she won't be happy if Mommy is crying and upset all the time. Please get him out of the house. You need some space. You can't continue to walk on eggshells with him. He does not deserve you. You are his wife, not his caretaker. I know that I'm not a good one to give advice, but please know that I care so much for you, and I'm here for you.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon