WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice III

[FaithfulH]

Do you realize that right now I want to better myself so far up the mountain that I can't go back and she will never reach me. So that she can go thru her pathetic life saying, wow, that could've been me, what did I do. And how pathetic of me to think that way about something I love so much. I have to, because if I don't I cannot let her go forever.

LonelyD,

This is NOT detachment...this is NOT love. The goal isn't to "let her go forever". There is another marriage restoration website (that I won't name to avoid any problems with the moderators) that uses the term "prodigal" to describe the WAS. They are not gone forever...just gone for a time.....just like the prodigal son of the bible. When the prodigal son came home, how did the father treat him? He treated him as if he had never left. You have a long way to go to forgive your W....if today's posts are any evidence. What if you had to do this for another week...another month...another year....10 years? How long are you in for? I have several friends who have been "standing" for their marriages for more than 10 years. I know.....it sounds kinda sad....until you think about the suffering that our Lord endured for our behalf. What if we are called to "share in the sufferings of Christ"? There is a book written about marriage that says "maybe marriage was meant to refine us"! I know you said in an earlier post that you were revisiting the detachment site I sent you....I would suggest you look at it daily. Detachment doesn't mean you are trying to leave your spouse behind. If you were detached, you would be working on becoming the best "you" possible with no regard for her....not to spite her. I hope AmyC stops by....she's swings a better 2X4 than I and I'm thinking you could use a little whack about now! If you give up now, years from now nobody (your family) will remember you stood for awhile. I have to tell you that after my bomb....I thought I would die if she didn't come back in a few hours....then a few days...then a few weeks...then a few months.....so our separation of nearly a year seemed like an eternity to me (although many here have endured far more). After 18 awesome months of restoration....that year seems like a distant memory.....God moved the mountain! He will move yours too!