So, today was much better. Less time with the computer, no time with the tv, spent time with D and went out to shop a bit. We colored with her blendy pens, too. And I GOT STUFF DONE. Got all of the XMas garbage together for the curb tonight, got the kids' new things down to their rooms, cleaned up the kitchen. I made a list for the rest of the week, even though I know it is WAY too ambitious to accomplish it all.
It is always better when the kids are around. Actually, I didn't even mind S being away all day snowboarding. I just get antsy when they are with the X. Something I'll have to get over, but I'm also being easy on myself with that front - it will come with time. I still think I'm feeling jealous/bitter when confronted with his life and me not being in it at all anymore, and I don't want to be...I have to continue to find things that feel almost as good or better than I used to feel when we were all together (not the easiest of tasks).
He emailed me to confirm the schedule for the rest of the week - he is going away for the weekend, so he'll miss his Fri dinner with the kids this week, and again next week; he didn't ask to switch nights. I emailed back to confirm, and also had to ask him to pay his property taxes; I am amazed that there are still things left that haven't been separated yet, and they won't let me reregister my car while his taxes are delinquent. Once he is up to date, they can separate the accounts. That was a wasted trip to motor vehicle last week...
Tomorrow, some vacuuming and dusting in the morning, off to LI and great-grandma's for a visit (I'm bringing a casserole). Kids and I hang out together for a while Wed and then my friend comes up to stay for a few days. Its supposed to snow again, then.
